In My Mind
by VinnyRoxyFrankie
Summary: What was Edward thinking when he found out Bella had escaped from Jasper and Alice in the airport? And what was he thinking when he was forced to suck the venom out of her blood kill or save? One shot. Please R&R. Character Development story.


**(Edit - I just changed the part about the fangs - I can't believe I even wrote that! Too busy thinking about my original vampire story, I guess! Thanks to the person (whose name I have promptly forgotten) who alerted me to that!**

**Alright, folks - I'll say it now, this is a one-shot. So, PLEASE, no reviews saying you can't wait for the next chapter, because there will not be one!**

**That aside, I hope you enjoy this - I wrote this as a bit of character exploration, as I'm preparing to write another, longer fanfic in the Twilight section, probably in Edward's point of view (P.O.V), so I wanted to see what I could come up with while writing as him. Any critique on my style as Edward would be GREATLY appreciated - any reviews would be fantastic.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own any of the Twilight characters - also the dialogue is as written in chapter 23 (The Angel) of Twilight, so I don't own that, either.**

**Enjoy! **

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**IN MY MIND**

**One Shot – A Retelling**

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Alice Cullen's P.O.V

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I said yes to Bella when she asked if Jasper could take her to get food, despite the fact that my instincts were screaming. I thought of the letter in my bag to her mother, the quiet, calm way she had acted since she had spoken to her mother on the phone. It made me nervous, and I suddenly I wished I was with her. No, I told myself firmly, Jasper will protect her easily. I couldn't quite explain my wariness, my insecurity. I thought of the look on Edward's face if he lost her before I could stop myself, my visions playing out inside my mind. I closed my eyes, feeling the minutes tick by slowly, ever so slowly, going over each of my thoughts carefully, precisely, trying to make sense of them. 

Suddenly Jasper was at my shoulder, a low growl rumbling in his throat. Bella was nowhere to be seen, and her luggage was still in the duffel bag at my feet. I was up in an instant, tense as a coiled spring and peering over the heads of the bustling people inside the terminal, wishing, for once, that I was a little taller so as to see over them.

"How did you let her get away? Where did she go?" My tone was low and accusing, for all I could see was Edward's face in my mind, but I was cautious to remain quiet – the last thing we needed was panic inside the terminal.

"She went into the washroom – I didn't follow her, of course. But she never came out. I looked on a map outside – there are two exits. She's gone out the back way."

I felt my body rippling with a savage snarl, but I managed to contain it. Suddenly I was pulling out the contents of my bag, searching for the letter which I had placed at the bottom, out of the way. It fell open to my eager, anxious eyes, and it did nothing at all to alleviate the growing pressure on my head – Bella was gone, looking for her mother. There was no doubt.

Edward, Emmett and Carlisle chose that exact moment to appear from the terminal. I relayed the whole thing to my adoptive brother inside my head, seeing his face change from eager happiness which had been aimed at Bella to intense despair. I finally understood my visions. It all made sense – the dance room, her house, the videos. And the dead body which I had seen in my sleep, the broken doll of Bella's corpse. I practically wept with rage and sadness – I couldn't see how a gentle human could escape the hunting vampire.

Anger was radiating off Edward in waves – he cut through the crowds of tourists like a shark towards the entrance, with us following in his wake. He had left his luggage, and there was Bella's duffel bag, but the extra weight was nothing to us.

By the time we'd got outside into the car park Edward was waiting for us in a car – a very nice, fast-looking car which did not belong to us, I thought faintly, but the thought remained faint as we climbed in; Jasper, Emmett and I in the backseat, Edward driving and Carlisle navigating. We hit 200 before we reached the highway, but none of us seemed to notice – the road flew away beneath us, and our silence was impenetrable. Not for the first time I wished that I was one who could read minds.

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Edward Cullen's P.O.V

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I was in a mindless rage, I'll admit. The vision of the letter was fresh and painful in my mind – messy, rushed, tear-stained. I prayed with all my being to whatever god was listening that it wouldn't be the last of Bella that I'd ever see. Underneath my anger my heart was aching.

I couldn't believe that Bella had put herself in danger. Alice had thought to me briefly during the ride, showing me her visions of a battered and bleeding body. I remained wordless – they said the future would change? Then I would be the one to change it.

It was no problem for Carlisle to find the house, at the exact address I had committed to memory after scrounging it from her during a day of questions. Alice and Jasper suddenly remembered the address of the dance studio, and we flew there. The door was unlocked, but in my rage I didn't think of just opening it with the handle – it broke away after a soft push with my right fist. I stalked inside, muscles tense, nostrils flaring, my whole being hot with pressure.

The screams reached me instantly, but it took me a moment to recognize my Bella's voice – it was high, shrill, cry that seemed to slice into my very soul. The last few metres I took in a single bound.

James, the hunter, was leaning over my Bella, teeth bared. He hadn't noticed us enter, but now he glanced up – and backed away from the girl's prone form. I heard the most monstrous growl I had ever heard – and realized that it was my own. James looked afraid for a brief moment, but his resolve toughened once again. He thought I was alone, but my family proved him wrong by appearing at my back, eyes wide as the scent of the blood nearly overwhelmed them and muscles tense and straining. All I wanted was to be at Bella's side, but James was dangerous.

"Don't come any closer, or I'll kill her," he warned, and his words were full of aggression. I was without a doubt that he would do just that if we handled the situation wrong. Unfortunately, I was hardly in a state to sit down and have a team talk with my family, who, all except for Carlisle, who was immune, were partially driven mad by the scent of blood.

Emmett was thinking at me, I suddenly realized. I shifted my attention stupidly to listen to him, and James only needed that. He lunged at me hard and fast, roaring as he did so.

He was fast, but not as fast as slender little Alice, who was as bitterly angry as me. She came from my side in the blink of the eye, hitting him from the side and driving him into a mirror with a rending crash. Emmett and Jasper settled on him as he uttered high, keening cries. I shut the sounds of tearing flesh out of mind, because Bella was dying at my feet, and that was suddenly all that mattered in the entire world. Alice and Carlisle melted away as I fell to my knees at her side.

"Oh no, Bella, no!" I was perfectly aware that words were flowing from my lips, but I couldn't halt the flow. Every part of my heart suddenly threatened to explode. She was still, so still.

"Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" I was begging now, my heart falling open and spilling its contents on the floor. In that single moment I could see all of her emotions playing across that ghostly, still face – shock, fear, happiness, excitement, nausea, stubbornness, unforgiving love. Carlisle was suddenly at my shoulder, checking over Bella's body. He seemed to calm, and I couldn't understand him. Maybe he couldn't see my love's life pouring away in a steady stream?

"Carlisle!" I called out, hoping madly that he would understand my frustration, my mindless fear, Bella, Bell, no, oh please, no, no!" It was as if I suddenly did need to breathe, and I couldn't find the air to do it with. My voice came in broken sobs.

Carlisle was prodding her, poking her injuries, and it was making me angry. She cried out, her voice slow and lethargic and filled with agony. Mine was the same.

"Bella!"

"She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep," Carlisle said in my ear, his voice disturbingly calm and quiet, as if he thought it would calm me too. I was long past that, though. I felt that I would never be calm again.

"Watch out her leg, it's broken. Some ribs too, I think."

I couldn't help myself; I howled with rage. I wished that James was in my hands right at the instant – he wouldn't have stood a chance. It was probably a good thing the Emmett and Jasper had taken him into the room next door, partly to get away from the blood and partly to give Alice, Carlisle and I some peace.

"Edward," Bella spoke, her voice slow and slurred as she tried to draw my attention to something. I leant forward, dying to take her in my arms and carry her away, to lift her out of the pool of her own blood. I could barely smell it, though it was clear Alice could – she had backed away a little.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you," I crooned, stroking her pale, blood-covered face.

"Edward?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"It hurts," her voice was little more than a shallow murmur, but it was clearer than it had been.

"I know, Bella, I know," I said gently, before spinning to Carlisle, my eyes full of anguish, "can't you do anything?"

He motioned to Alice, his face filled with a clinical look, as if he had rehearsed this over and over, "my bag please. Hold your breath, Alice, it will help."

"Alice?" her voice was pitiful. I was amazed that she could speak at all, but then again this girl surprised me all the time.

"She's here, she knew where to find you."

"My hand hurts," I got the message instantly that she was trying to tell me something important, but she couldn't.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."

"My hand is burning!"

This time her voice was a scream again, and her eyes burst open, flicking around sightlessly. Blood had nearly plaster her eyelids closed, but she didn't seem to notice it. I was intensely frightened, and I dropped her hand to the floor. It immediately went to the other one as she tried to see what was wrong.

"Bella?" I asked, taking her injured hand in mine.

"The fire! Someone stop the fire!" I thought that she meant the fire that Emmett and Jasper were trying to light for a minute, but I realized that the pain was the fire. I flipped her hand over to find a deep slash mark, oozing glistening blood. My eyes widened with a sick disbelief – this couldn't be happening!

"Carlisle! Her hand!" My voice conveyed my terror, that much was obvious. Carlisle took one look, and his voice rose from its calm state to a tone of appalled disgust.

"He bit her."

My breath, which I had found again when Bella had spoken to me, caught in my throat and I was suddenly choking. Alice was kneeling at my side, her hand on my shoulder and the fingers brushing off the blood on Bella's eyelids. Her dark eyes found mine and I understood, but I couldn't believe it.

"Edward, you have to do it," she said softly, her voice deceptively calm to stop Bella from panicking, though her face was alight with panic – I realized that she loved Bella as much as I did.

"No!" My voice was a disbelieving bellow. I sank down, wishing that this was a dream, a horrible nightmare – except I didn't sleep.

"Alice," Bella muttered, the terrible pain in her hand making her wriggled about in my grasp.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle said, mulling over the idea in his mind.

"What?" I begged, urging him to think faster.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean," he said matter-of-factly. I felt a roaring pressure beginning in the base of my skull – I was going to have to do it, or Bella would turn into the monster that I was.

"Will that work?" Alice's voice was thin, her face even more pale than usual. Carlisle wouldn't lie to either of us, of course. His words were directed at Alice, but his dark eyes were on me.

"I don't know. But we have to hurry."

"Carlisle, I…" my voice was soft, hesitant and full of churning agony once again, "I don't know if I can do that."

It was the truth. I had spent long nights wondering if Bella tasted as good as she smelt, and long days resisting her. Now it seemed that if I was to save her I was going to have to do just that.

"It's your choice, Edward, either way. I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand"

It was going to be my choice. I could either let her turn into a monster like me, or help her to stay human. Indecision clouded my mind – how could I make a choice like that? Pain flooded through me, intense mental pain.

"Edward!" Bella was pleading me, her eyes bursting open and searching for my face as she writhed around before me.

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle was bent over Bella's head, stitching up the wound and stemming the flow of blood, which was all over my hands, my knees, not to mention the rest of my body. I suddenly felt ill, very ill.

"Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late," Carlisle said, struggling to hold Bella still as she fought against the pain in her hand. I looked at her face, contorted with agony, and made my decision – suddenly I flamed with determination, erasing a lot of the fear. Yet I couldn't restrain the welling thoughts in my head – was I going to kill my only love, the one that I had waited a long, long time for? Or was I going to turn her back into a frail, defenceless human who I loved so much?

Trying not to think of the outcomes, I lifted her wounded hand to my mouth and pressed it against my cold, hard lips.

I _know_ it hurt her, taking the venom out. But I think it was nothing compared to what I went through – feeling her warm, sweet blood flowing in my mouth, wondering what it would be like if it wasn't tainted by poison. Her human blood made my skin blaze warm, and then hot, to fevered level. It was like nothing I had ever experienced, but my iron resolve kept me sane, and even reasonably calm.

Alice was talking softly to Bella, making nonsense noises and singing broken lullabies – there was the song that I had written for Bella, and more and more that I recognised. Carlisle had her head locked in his strong arms, keeping her as still as possible.

After a long, long time, it seemed, she stopped writhing. I placed her hand back down next to her and rocked back on my heels, trying to cool down and relax. I felt so hot, but my skin was suddenly as cold as marble. I closed my eyes, trying to banish thoughts of human blood inside me. I felt tainted, not happy, but I was triumphant, too. I had more control than I gave myself credit for. There was a monster inside me, but it was locked away beneath miles of metal and determination.

"Edward," Bella's frail voice reached my ears, which were ringing, uncharacteristically. Alice answered for me, smoothing the prone girl's sweaty, bloody hair from her face.

"He's right here, Bella."

"Stay, Edward, stay with me…" Her voice trailed off as unconsciousness threatened to take her.

"I will," I answered, my voice strained and weary, but yet some of the triumph rang in my words. She sighed contentedly, and I longed to take her hand, but I had to gain control of myself first. The fire inside me was dying out slowly.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked, placing his hand gently on my shoulder. I rubbed my face before answering quietly, "her blood tastes clean. I can taste the morphine."

"Bella?" he called softly, calm once again, in control.

"Mmmmmm?" her answer was soft, and she looked contented. I realized that I was leaning over her protectively, and I flicked backwards again. I wished suddenly that I had never gotten to know this stubborn, beautiful girl – then she would never have been hurt. The thought only lasted a moment, though, to be replaced with deep thankfulness and a kind of peace I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes. Thank you, Edward."

"I love you," I said to that, finally summoning up the courage to stroke her hair gently. She was beyond feeling it, though, so weary and tired – the morphine was doing its job well.

"I know," Bella answered, turning her face in my direction. I had to chuckle at that, being vaguely surprised and all. I was incredibly relieved – what if she had blamed me for all this? But, no, I thought, she would never be like that. She was _mine._

"Bella?" it was Carlisle again, checking the head wound one last time to see if it had stopped bleeding yet – it was only a thin trickle now.

"What?" she voice sounded irritated despite its feebleness.

"Where's your mother?

"In Florida," she sighed softly, her eyelids flickering faintly, "he tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos." She suddenly seemed to remember something she had forgotten, because her head flickered around without her eyes opening.

"Alice. Alice, the video – he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from," she said, her face showing a little of the urgency which had never reached her words. Alice walked across the room, picking up the camera and switching it off so the red light flickered out. Her eyes were cold, hard, expectant. I had never loved her more than at that moment.

"It smells like gasoline," Bella said softly, and I smiled a happy smile. I had told her that the only way to kill a vampire was to tear him to shreds and the burn the pieces, hadn't I.

"It's time to move her," Carlisle said as Emmett's head briefly appeared in the doorway – he couldn't stay long for all the blood on the floor and on the rest of us, too.

"No, I want to sleep," she complained as I stretched out my limbs.

"You can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you," I assured, picking her up as gently as possible. She smiled up at me with her eyes closed as I cradled her gently against my chest.

"Sleep now, Bella," I said, kissing her gently on the forehead. Utterly trusting, she fell into deep unconsciousness, her head tucked against my neck and her broken leg stiff and swaying slightly with my gentle movement. Outside of the dance room it was dark but for the tongues of fire licking against the old wood of the building. With my family at my back I set off and away from the dancing flames, feeling the cool of twilight enveloping me.

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**So, what did you think? Please tell me, as any critique is infinitely useful for me - though if you want to comment on my combination of English U.S.A and English NZ, please be nice- I can't seem to format Word properly, so it changes some words to English U.S.A for me. Apart from that, thank you!**

**Aden Ameryn**


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